Wurstküche

billed as downtown l.a.’s new beer and sausage kitchen, we were keen to take a look. accommodating the needs of the vegetarian and beer dependent, there was something in store for both of us! boasting exotic sausages ranging from bratwurst to rattlesnake/rabbit (!) combos, they also could be accompanied by an ice cold chimay white! well, on arrival, they did deliver what they advertised but in the schlockiest, most amateur attempt at restaurants. you walked into a dimly lit windowless entry with a tiny counter to your immediate left adjacent a cold case featuring raw sausage selections. there stood two pale creatures with the deer in the headlights stare. not to be outdone, we stared back and after a few seconds andrew spoke up and said “well, how does it work? do we order here, or….?” they finally snapped to and andrew ordered a kielbasa, belgian fries with two sauces and two chimays.

i looked around at the little concrete encased bunker lined with an equally bleak counter with spindly stools and asked one of the staff if there was more dining in the rear. he says yes and i trekked down the longest hallway to find an open unfinished room (also bleak) with a hodgepodge of tables satelliting a huge homemade tavern style plank table balanced on two sawhorses. to say that there was zero ambiance wouldn’t be enough, this place was a black hole to ambiance completely devoid of any flavor. there was a large bar/counter in the rear of the room that connected with the kitchen and the counter up front. unfortunately it wasn’t functioning as of yet. worse, there were two huge chunks of the room hidden by black plastic tarp and a pile of left over construction wood sat on to the random platform by the frosted windows (too high up and opaque to enjoy a view). the jewel in this crown was the unfinished gaping holes high up on the wall next to the bar. there was a scattering of people and yet it was so eerily quiet. and yes, i chose a table on the platform as opposed to the one next to the trash.

after waiting a bit for our food, we wondered finally if they were going to bring it or if we should have waited to pick it up. again, more of that crystal clear communication….. andrew met the guy coming into the back and finally we were in business. needless to say the food was solid and a cold chimay is a plus anywhere, anytime. the dog clocked in at $6 but the beers were $8 each at only 8oz.! frankly, we had eaten at the new farm at l.a. live last weekend and for $1 more i got a bigger beer. the kicker was my visit to the ladies room. the toilet wasn’t bolted down to the floor and after a quick roll, i finally stuck the landing, so to speak. the final flush again showcased the janky assembly job on the john, and i literally washed my hands of the place. all in all, wurstkuche was a straight yawn and i couldn’t wait to leave. with sooooo many restaurants opening for business and competing like crazy to get our dollars, i couldn’t understand why you would even open your doors if you couldn’t at the very least, finish the basic construction of the restaurant. given the un-feng shui friendly layout of the place, i don’t even think the final nails and spackle could help that place and the overall effect was like a college town cliché. we can always do gourmet wienies and beer at home….