just because you can, doesn’t mean you should!

so i was hanging out with a co-worker today. you know that special co-worker that you gravitate towards when you just want to poke your head above the workload. she’s got the kind of humour that requires my bringing my own packet of kleenex because without fail she brings me to tears. anyway, we happened to expound upon our favorite pet peeves and suddenly i tripped over one of my own! i hadn’t realized how deep it went but it certainly struck a nerve. the name of the game is “afros”. i’m talking about men and afros, white men with afros in particular. now i’m ALL about modifying your appearance here or there, experimenting with long, short, straight or curly hair. (yes, i rode the process train or train-wreck to be exact!) most of us go through the trial and error portion of this throughout our teens or (for you late bloomers) early twenties, but i just want to cut to chase now and spare some of you guys the pain. that’s right, the PAIN of looking back late in life and seeing photos of what should never have been.

it’s been called the “afro”, the “jewfro”, the “napfro”, the “brofro” but unless you’re bootsy collins, it should be the “no-fro”. nothing pains me more than seeing some pale young thing with a big boofie ‘fro on his head and when you’re not quite filled out with the weightiness that manhood brings, it makes you look even more gawky and skinny than ever. maybe two caucasian have ever pulled this look off and that’s just BARELY (i can’t argue with pre-pubescent tweens): christopher atkins and william katz (and BOTH had the 70’s on their side). so if you’re not bench pressing 200lbs, you might want to avoid the “screech powers” look. “disco stu” is not for you!

and no, brothers are not safe either. i was out picking up groceries over the weekend and i saw some brother with a rusty assed, busted ‘fro. it was raggedy and dry and no, he was not homeless, just clueless. hello, it’s called moisturizer. even those of us with african ancestry have to put some care and maintenance in their ‘fro’s. that means using the right products and for god’s sake, getting to a hairdresser and having our hair shaped and maintained. you KNOW who you are! that’s right droopy, get help!